Idle Threats
by Sayuri-Jen
Summary: Takigawa is in hiding as Ayako’s on the hunt. Mai has an evil side to her…Oneshot for –X-.Giggles.-X-


Inspired by -X-.Giggles.-X-'s funniness in MESSAGE DELETED :D

Idle Threats

"Damn it," Takigawa muttered, careful to keep his voice low and subtle.

Naru sighed wearily in response.

Mai looked at the monk unsympathetically. "You brought this onto yourself you know."

"It's NOT my fault!" He shot back, before realizing his mistake and ducking down again. The monk eyed the door, expecting it to burst open any minute. "It's not my fault," he reiterated, this time in a shouted whisper. "You're to blame as well. Who was the one who pushed me?"

Mai smirked, rather liking him in this vulnerable position. She squatted down near Takigawa's hiding spot - _cough_ behind Naru's desk _cough_ - and grinned. "How unlike you to be so unmanly." She murmured in her sugar voice, acting absolutely appalled at his deplorable behavior. "You're the one who ripped Ayako's shirt after all - at least face her so she won't vent all her anger on _us_and so we can hurry up and solve this case."

Naru sipped his tea, eyeing the monk with a piercing glare. "And why do you have to use me as a cover?"

Takigawa ignored the young man and stared at Mai. "What sort of person in their right mind would wear a hundred dollar shirt to exorcise a haunted house?"

"To think you'd rip her sleeve right off!"

The monk groaned. "That's great. That's very funny. Mai, I swear to god I'm so intensely amused right now it's in infrared and that's why you can't see how amused I am on my face."

She stared back at him, hitting the top of his head with the tray. "Your sarcasm fails when I don't understand your bitterly irrelevant terminology."

"Damn it."

A beat.

"Shouldn't you show me respect or something? I mean, I'm a monk and older than you and….stuff. "

She laughed at him.

He scowled. Then he looked at Naru, and back at her. A mischievous look spread across his face. "I could tell him what you were _really _doing at the base yesterday."

Mai froze in place when she felt Naru's eyes on her.

She whispered fiercely into the monk's ear.

"You _wouldn't_."

He looked smug and crossed his arms. "Oi, Naru-chan -"

"BOU-SAN?! OI! COME OUT NOW TAKIGAWA!"

Takigawa stopped mid-sentence at that scary little reminder of why he had been hiding behind Naru's desk for the past half hour. His smugness quickly dissipated, to be replaced with an expression of horror when he recalled why he was there in the first place.

It was Mai's turn to grin.

"No!" he implored, and did the closest thing to true begging he'd ever done in his whole life. "C'mon, I was joking, a joke!" he urged in a pained whisper.

Her smile only got more and more evil—he supposed he should have expected it. She took a deep breath then, all ready to give him away like he so richly deserved.

"I don't think anyone but Lin-san and Mai would be in there at the moment."

Mai stopped mid-breath when she heard the voice. So Ayako had recruited Masako as well?

"You think so?" Ayako asked, murderous intent thick in her voice.

"Eh. She's _always_in there." Huff. "What's so great about her anyway?"

The last part, though it had been muttered, everyone heard.

Mai raised her eyebrows. "Why that -"

She scooted against the monk and hid just in time as the doors burst open.

Despite the dire nature of the situation, Takigawa had to slap both hands over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud at Masako's question. When that didn't work he tugged up the collar of his jacket and buried his face into it.

Naru slowly leaned back in his chair as Ayako marched towards him. His face remained impassive. "If you could please enter without being so dramatic."

Had his eyes just flicked down to them? Mai and Takigawa were begging with puppy-eyed looks to not give away their hiding spot.

"Oi, Naru, have you seen that worthless monk anywhere?" Ayako demanded.

"…No."

Mai could just see the suspicions arising in the miko's face. "I don't trust that pause."

There were a pair of feet and Yasuhara walked in. "Still looking Matsuzaki-san?" He was silent for a moment. "What do you see in him anyway?"

From behind the desk, Takigawa looked mildly offended that that was even an issue here.

There was a pause. "What - Bou-san?! THIS ISN'T A LOVER'S SPAT WERE HAVING!"

Yasuhara, beamed. "But he's great! He's strong and kind and funny and handsome and…"

"Not now Osamu-san." Naru interjected.

"He's probably run for it." Ayako whispered darkly to herself. "Oh, when I get my hands on him!-"

She left it to their imagination. Yasuhara laughed. (His was quite different from the rest.)

Ayako and Masako left, and the ones in hiding waited a good two count before daring to speak again.

Yasuhara started as Takigawa's head popped up from behind the desk. "When –"

"Why did you -"

"Strong and kind and funny and handsome?" Mai giggled.

"The hell you laughing for?!"

"Nothing," the petite teen sniffed. "Now, _please _go get me some lunch."

Takigawa stared. "What?"

"Or should I call Ayako back and…"

"FINE."

That girl had an evil side to her. They'd just eaten and he swore to a heavenly figure that she wasn't hungry. Well, he'd show her.

Mai eyed him as he stood and prepared to head towards the kitchen, walking like a gunslinger. It was like she was reading his mind.

"No beans Bou-san!"

"And some rice cakes if you will." Yasuhara added.

"Damn it."

She grinned and watched him trudge out the door, making a little mental amendment to her previous thoughts.

Strong and kind and handsome…the descriptions were somewhat accurate.

But maybe Yasuhara had been dead right about Takigawa being funny.

Because right now, Mai thought his shoulder slump of defeat was absolutely hilarious.

* * *

I know it wasn't humor, but it's still a one-shot! -sticks out tongue- I hoped you liked it -X-.Giggles.-X-! 


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